28:
This entry will be a bit candid and disjointed but it’s what I need to get out, right now…
I grew up with AOL, Angelfire and Geocities. I learned HTML the old fashioned way. With tables and frames and cheesy marquees. I’ve been blogging since 1998, through personal webpages. Back when everything was manual and you had to create your own directories, html files, and links.
My first blogspot blog was a health and fitness blog. I hesitate to call it a “health and weight loss” blog because I never really had a lot to lose. But I did focus a lot of wasted energy on losing. I quit that blog because I hated how obsessed I was getting with “the last 5 lbs.” when I was already 100 lbs. Screw that. I quit. And I gained weight again. And I didn’t care.
I couldn’t stop blogging though. I made another blogspot blog which would be the predecessor of this domain. At first, I didn’t allow “the public” to see it simply by not promoting my space. I created my own identity under “Floreta” to reclaim the middle name I had loss. I focused writing on the topic of marriage. Why should you marry? Why should I marry? What does marriage mean in society? What should it mean to me? As a staunch Feminist, it’s hard to accept marriage at face value. I needed to redefine it to make peace with the idea. Then a break-up happened and I needed my blog for therapy. I began reaching out to communities. 20sb. My writing took on a creative edge as I began to pour my heart out in poetry; never knowing I was even a poet. It was gutsy. It had a lot of life and passion and a candid sense of not having an audience.
But now? Now I write for people, except that I don’t even know who it’s for. Through it all, my blog has always been personal. Just a personal blog seems so confining to me now. I’m tired of the scene. I want a blog with a sense of purpose, a direction, a mission. Something greater than myself that I can feel proud to be a part of. But I’m loss and I’m struggling to find a niche. Even just typing the word niche makes me shudder. It’s like in highschool when I was trying to find a clique to belong to and didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. A floater, a drifter, never being rooted in one place. Sounds familiar? I grew up to be just the same. Traveling in familiar, yet equally strange lands. My “second home” of the Philippines, where I was born, but where I did not grow up, is like being a stranger in my own strange culture. For once, I’m the same color as the majority that I encounter, but I still don’t quite belong…
So I’m not sure what I’m doing here. My blog is evolving and becoming as much as I am growing and becoming. Lately, I’ve been writing spiritual words. I’m in a monastery after all. Yesterday, we had a two and a half hour chanting session in Chinese. Two and a half hours. It was amazing. Hearing the different Chinese voices mesh together in one cohesive consciousness. It was a ball of energy. I couldn’t quite understand it, but I felt its power. I took a look around and wondered what the hell I’m doing here. Is this religion? Is this a part of me? Am I Buddhist? It was overwhelming and humbling.
I’ve never been religious in my life. Certainly, not now. The thought of writing softer edges because of my experiences is completely mind boggling me. Is this really ME, in this moment, at my core? The vast amount of change that I’m experiencing from moment to moment makes it hard to catch up, even as its happening.
I don’t want to write about religion, or spirituality. Not in that cheesy, hokey kind of way that I’ve been doing. It feels too canned. Safe. I’m writing for an “audience” that’s not even there. I’ve lost my edge and I want it back. I want to write like I used to. When I had heart break, when I wrote raw, emotional. When I wrote at my core. I want to have that, but I want to get away from personal blogging. I get fired up about ideas. Where they can take me. Where they can take the world. So I’m left not being sure where or how to go. I’ll figure it out, I always do. But I’m left stumbling around for now, in the vicinity of “safe” and useless and uninspired.
03:
JR from Not So Literal: What is your educational background?
I have a BS in Graphic Design from the Art Institute of Portland. I’ve worked as a designer for a souvenir company and ran a print shop.
Lorien from Wayfaring Stranger: What made you travel? How long have you been blogging?
I’ve been blogging since before blogging was invented. Before livejournal! I taught myself html code when I was 13 and got into the personal webpage scene. I’d design and build pages that were hosted on friend’s domains and would update and link manually. Yeah, I kicked it old school. As far as travel goes, the short answer is that I broke off from a 5 year, confining relationship, realized AFTER the fact that I’m not the type to settle down, buy a house and a dog and wanted a change of scenery. I hated that I was a real emotional mess with no life of my own so I set to change that in a big way. Plus, I’ve always had wanderlust. Talking about moving to another country has always excited me.
Why do you like pandas so much!?!
Pandas are cute! And Asian-y. I really feel its a good symbol for myself. I’m also 1/8 Chinese. When I was a kid, one of my favorite children’s books I had was about a panda and I really connected to that. I made up the name when I was still in said relationship above. I guess I’ve always felt solitary but also lonely and I needed an outlet to vent.
Nino from My Kafkaesque Life: What will happen to your old blogger blog?
I’ll keep it up but I won’t keep posting separate content. It will be a ghost blog.
Are you going to make any vlogs any time soon?
I’m always open to reader suggestions so If you want more vlogs, I’ll try to deliver! I can come up with a “welcome” video and maybe make vlogs more of a regular thing, what do you think!??
Brittney from La Midge: If you were to relate yourself to any fictional character (movie/book/etc), who is most like you? Do you find it flattering or not?
This might sound really retarded but I’m going to pull out the big guns and say Howard Roark from Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. I never read the book the whole way through, and I’m not sure about Rand’s objectivist cult but I did relate to the main character well. I remember he was all about individualism, outside-the-box thinking and rejecting status quo and I think I can be lumped into that collective mindset. I’ve always felt like I have to conquer life; me against the world or something. Of course, I think he was probably arrogant and egoic too so that’s not very flattering.
If you could be any fictional character, who would you be?
Or I could just be Belle. The bookworm beauty who grows to love a Beast. NOT to be confused by Bella. I really hate Twilight.
Kristan Hoffman: Why the move to a new domain? What are you most looking forward to in your upcoming year of adventures (India and/or the Philippines)? What are you most afraid of (about your upcoming year of adventures)?
I felt like having my own domain would be a great new start to symbolize my upcoming new journey. It was great to start fresh again. I’m honestly looking forward to having lesbian sex the most, then blogging about it. I know it will happen because I’m determined. Also, I’m just looking forward to meeting new people, trying new things (including lesbian sex). I’m most afraid about the financial logistics, and honestly, if there’s going to be some natural disaster while I’m there. The climate is whacky now.
What writers/bloggers do you most admire and why?
I’ve lately been secretly admiring Hannah Miet for her superb writing. Like, get me a publisher and a book deal kind of writing. I also like More is Better because she’s so fun and fresh. And adventurous. And she started Hands In, which is completely awesome.
Martin from This Rugged Life: Will you be starting up your martial arts training again in 2010?
I really want to! One of my goals is to try out Eskrima, a Filipino martial arts. I researched and there’s even a headquarters school of the Doce Pares (12 Pairs) style close to where I’ll be staying. I also want to try to get into rock climbing!
Do the other people in your erotica posts know that they are being immortalized in blog form? If so, any interesting comments from them after reading of their exploits?
Interesting question! I have actually only written one true to life story thus far, which actually inspired me to pursue this more… The rest was either “loosely based” or completely fantasy driven. So far, I’ve had no complaints! He enjoyed reading my perspective and said he was savoring some parts and needed a few minutes to calm down! I <3 euphemisms!
The Savvy Soybean: What’s your favorite food?
The Filipino in me is gonna say Filipino food. But I also LOVE sushi!!
Feverdog: What are the top 5 things that make you happy?
creativity, hope, ideas, yoga, oh and tantric sex.
Who would play you in a film about your life?
That’s tough. I’ll just go with a young Tia Carrere like from Wayne’s World
Which of your 5 senses would you most hate to lose?
Ah! It’s tough between hearing and seeing.. But probably sight.
Are you addicted to anything?
How about blogging.
If all the people in the world camped out in your back garden would you write and tell the king or would you grab a tent and join ‘em?
Join the party! Is this a metaphor?
Toothfairy Notes: Who was your childhood hero and who’s your hero now?
This sounds retarded but probably Stephanie Tanner from Full House was my childhood hero. Of course I probably had a crush on her. My hero now would be Anais Nin, Frida Kahlo, the Dalai Lama.
Deeptesh Poetry: What makes Floreta cry?
Depending on the mood I’m in, the littlest things can make me cry. Other people’s pain. The news. But usually I’m too selfish and cry about things going on with me. It’s been awhile though.
Who’s ur favorite blogger poet n favorite blogger essayist/story writer?
Why you of course! And probably Zorlone too.
OmegaRadium: If the end of the world will truly be in 2012, where would you want to be as a person (married, single, employed, etc); physically (US, Japan, etc); and spiritually?
I’d like to have my own business or work for myself, and be some sort of artist/activist, and yeah, Japan sounds nice! Probably at least be seeing someone so I can shag all day before the world ends. I don’t really care about having a rock on my finger, but I’m at least open to it. Spirituality really comes together with sex for me, at least with the right person. I guess I’d just like to be content, like I am now.
Sorry for the incredibly long post and brownie points if you got through all that! I’ll be posting some FAQs with other questions for my bio section. Stay tuned.
01:
2010: Bring it on. Or, should I say Blog it on. Or, should it merely be (a la Wayne’s World):
Blog On!
[Photo Credit]
For many of us bloggers, life can often be seen through the lens of blogging about it. How many times have you thought about going to an event, party, date, etc. with the distinct thought that it could become a great blog piece? Through my exhibitionist flair, I’ve done more than just think about it. I give great blog. The point is, as fragmented as it sounds, this type of blog lens has actually helped me to try new things and be more open to new experiences. That little bloggy writing motivation actually gets me through a lot.
My new blog girl-crush, Doniree, has asked us:
what are your blogging goals for the New Year?
This question–with my blog lens in place–got me thinking that this would be the most appropriate blog topic for my first post on my new “big girl” domain.
Look Ma! My own .com!
For those who don’t know (because you can’t assume that everyone knows you), hi, my name is Floreta and I used to blog at http://floretacui.blogspot.com. I have made the switch not only to my own host server, but from Blogger to WordPress. @ninoart, from My Kafkaesque Life, reminded me that 2010 is not only a New Year, it’s a new decade! This did two things. 1) Make me feel old and 2) Give me a rush of how incredibly charged 2010 and onward will be! So without further adieu:
My 2010 Blogging Goals
- Write more erotica – After my recent encounter, and yes, blogging about it, I have gotten a lot of positive feedback about my shift towards wanting to explore erotic writings more consistently. I even got Lilu’s approval saying (quote):
I saw on your 20SB that you’re considering a more permanent dive into erotic writing… gotta say, I think you’re pretty damn good at it, and that it’s a great idea. 
If I get the TMI queen’s approval, then I must oblige. Writing erotica is exhilarating and you will help me see to it that I follow my own word!
- Have more focus – Essentially, The Solitary Panda is the same blog as my blogspot blog but I want to shift the focus in a more defined way, and that’s why I want to start fresh. Sure, this still is, first and foremost, a “personal blog”, but I’d like to explore more aspects of travel–with my upcoming journey–and culture. I’d like to have more consistent features almost as if I were writing my own magazine column. We’ll see how well that goes, but “travel, culture, art & erotica” is a good start by me.
- Build my community – I have a fairly big following from blogspot and I’m a little apprehensive as to how well the transition goes. Will I lose followers? Will you subscribe to my new feed? I’d like to build up my community via comments and engage people through social media more. Not in that I-want-to-be-popular sort of way. But in a genuine, this-is-what-blogging-is-about-and-I-want-you-to-be-a-part-of-that-with-me sort of way! I appreciate you. Thank you!
- Become professional – I blog professionally for companies but I’d like to see my personal blog become a somewhat professional hub for myself. Whether that be garnering a business venture via this blog or garnering exposure for a business venture via this blog, I’m not sure which. This is a bit of a conundrum for me because 1) Hello erotica! What will people think? But Colin, from Exile Lifestyle told me I should “own my sensuality”. Meaning, why not embrace my sensual writing, because that’s part of who I am? And, that gives me an “edge”, a unique way to “stand out”. So, if this somehow backfires on me as I try to merge my professional identity with my blog identity, I have Colin to blame it for (joking, I joke)! 2) Floreta is a blog identity. It’s like Perez Hilton but not as popular. I’ve chosen to keep Floreta because the name itself is a great personal brand! it’s more unique than, say, “Janet”, which is shrouded under Janet Jackson (you know, because I’m nasty; and that just gets old!). But nevertheless, navigating my personal brand with a pen name gives me a bit of an identity crisis!
I am truly excited for 2010 and my new blog kick-off; bringing in the new year with a bang! Come celebrate with me! Stick around. Have some drinks. Tell all your friends! Join my party!
So, what are your 2010 blog goals? What are your 2010 goals? Happy New Year, and remember, BLOG ON!
