THE SOLITARY PANDA

Yoga and Me

Yoga and me have had an on and off again relationship for years. The same way I’ve had and on and off again relationship for any sort of exercise regimen I try, really. I love it every time, but commitment is hard, especially when you don’t always have the funds to take consistent classes. The key is to go into a yoga studio to catch their new student specials. Bonus points for new yoga studios who usually have extra special specials. The kind of special that celebrates We Just Opened! Two weeks unlimited for $15! $5 classes for the month of May! First class free! And on and on.

I remember the first time I stepped into a yoga studio. With unlimited classes, that meant me double stacking two 90 minute yoga sessions one after the other, several days a week, because I’m crazy like that. The instructors were impressed with my dedication for a newbie. Everyone was clearly hardcore yogis–with the majority of the class as flexible as a pretzel–that I was definitely intimidated. I couldn’t even touch my toes, but within one week, I was able to touch my palms to the ground. Yoga taught me that it isn’t about what the other people around you are doing. You’re on your own mat, and your own separate practice. It doesn’t matter how advanced other people may seem, just concentrate on what you’re doing, and focus on your breathe. I think life is like that, too. What I learn on the mat I take with me.

My first yoga classes got lost in the shuffle of a move. I didn’t pick up again until a year later when I had the opportunity to do free yoga sessions with someone my then-boyfriend knew. We did those sessions together, with his coworkers, out in the rural desert horizons of his friend’s living room space. I always thought it was romantic because, well, I always think life is romantic. She was a middle-aged woman with those signature yogi arms. Toned and sleek. Her abs taut and tiny. God, I was jealous of her abs. I always looked forward to her sessions because she played ambient music in the background.

Life got busy and after a couple months, she stopped offering free sessions. I’d try other things here and there. Spin classes at the local gym. Cardio weight training. Kenpo karate. Sometimes, yoga on my DVDs. But it wasn’t until years later that I would try yoga classes again. They were too expensive for me, or, my priorities just didn’t want to make that monthly chunk of money commitment, so I only practiced during those $5 specials, or one week free. One local studio offered free “yoga trance dance”, and mostly, that’s what I’d do. Dancing freely to interpretative rhythms of live djembe music, guitar and trumpet. Once, the studio offered a free 108 sun salutation session so I went to that too.

Inhale palms to the sky, exhale forward fold, touching your toes. Inhale look up, palms to your knees. Exhale back down to forward fold. Inhale plank down to cobra. Exhale downward dog. And on and on. 108 times.

Then, I tried Bikram. The infamous hot yoga that’s practiced in a 105 degree room. This was two week’s unlimited. Every day, I’d sweat it out on the mat, giving each 26 positions my full concentration and effort. I was amazed by how much my body sweated. My clothes were drenched in liquid, but it felt so good. Yoga always makes me want to be kinder to my body. The effects usually last a full day. I’ll drink a smoothie, eat a banana and drink lots of water. Nourishment. If only I could feel that way everyday. I guess I just need to do more yoga.

Doing more yoga is fairly simple when you live in a monastery and have lots of breaks throughout your schedule. I realized that I don’t need a class, or even DVDs to have a yoga workout. I know enough poses to do it on my own now. It just never occurred to me when you’re so used to having other people hold your hand. But here, I hold my own hand. Here, I realize that I am empowered to hold my own hand. During the first month, I taught a yoga class to my fellow classmates. Each week, we’re expected to take turns sharing our knowledge and skills. For me, happily, it was yoga.