THE SOLITARY PANDA

An Unexpected Pilgrimage

Sunset at the temple.

I’m on a pilgrimage, of sorts.

You’re probably thinking, well, duh, why else would I be at a Zen monastery for 4 months? Obvious, right? But It’s taken me awhile to fully realize this and take it in. When I bought my one-way tickets to India and the Philippines, I had absolutely no plans other than the 3 weeks that I spent as an experiential tourist volunteering at a slum school. The Philippines was completely open. I knew I wanted to stay here for at least a year, and eventually work towards a location independent career, but I’ve been taking my sweet time enjoying my career break/sabbatical instead. It’s not easy acknowledging I’m on a break, and I had no idea I would ever be joining a monastery to do so. After all, admitting myself to a nunnery would definitely be out of the question. I’m NOT Catholic and it takes a better person than myself to admit themselves to a religious experience other than their own (not that I’m Buddhist, but pretty close). This unexpected path has taken my pilgrimage from conceptual to reality.

Many people seem to travel on a pilgrimage. “The gap year” is the ultimate way for seekers and searchers to discover about themselves; what their passions are, what they’d like to do with life. At 27, I guess I’m taking my gap year a bit “late”, but I’ve learned to accept that I’m a late bloomer. And really, who’s to say what late is, as if there’s a specific timeline for these things? A specific set path? I knew long ago that I wasn’t going on the fast track of college, career, marriage, house and kids. Standard and traditional is just not for me.

Eat, Pray, Love

Elizabeth Gilbert took her “gap year” in her mid thirties. Her pilgrimage turned into a delightful memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, that I read after the demise of my own relationship. While I already “knew” that I would journey back to Asia before reading the book, her words inspired me to make my thoughts reality. It’s completely surreal to me that I’m now having my own eat, pray, love journey of my own, sans the foreign lover, of course.

I’m not quite sure what I’m trying to “find”. Purpose, maybe. A meaning to this insignificant speck of the universe that is my existence. Some people might say this is the quarter-life “crisis” but I refuse to believe that life is a crisis as I am having the time of my life (cue Green Day song). Some days, it can seem daunting, like when I’m thinking about becoming a freelancer. Other days, it can seem exciting, like when I’m thinking about becoming a freelancer… It depends where my mind is. Sometimes, being in limbo feels like the scariest, most unstable place to be and other times, I feel blessed to have such great opportunities for exploration. Pushing through the transition phase can be tough. Focusing on the process, moving forward each day with your goals, is a great way to take control of your life and be happy. It’s not about finding purpose, but creating it.

Walk for Peace

Adding to my Pilgrimage repertoire, I have the chance to go on a 280 mile walk around the island of Palawan with a local. Just walking. While living in a monastery is quite possibly the craziest thing I’ve ever done, walking 280 miles might top it. With nothing but the stars and night sky as our blanket, the idea would be to interact with communities and people that we meet along our travels; offering them lessons that we would share for free. Things like yoga, martial arts, meditation. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll take the plunge. It’s quite possibly the craziest and scariest thing I’ve ever thought of doing. Oh, but it would be great blog (and life) fodder! What about that business idea I’ve been thinking about? It’d be great fodder for that too…