So Tell Me About Yourself?
“So tell me about yourself?”
The Western way of thinking, when given such an open-ended question, is to talk about your job, or your work history. The underlying question is this: “What do you do?” We all know it, and we’re programmed to answer obligingly, giving people what is called the elevator speech.
“I got my degree in graphic design but currently I’m a freelance writer.”
In reality, I’m making less than part-time work and feel like I’m basically bumming around in Asia. I have lots of ideas swirling around in my head of what to do with my life or where to go next, but mostly, I’m on idle time. I’m hibernating. I’m on a career break.
In January of this year, I volunteered in India to teach English to slum school kids. In February, I experienced culture shock as I was just starting to settle in my new home with my family in the Philippines. Despite being born here, I moved at the age of three with my mom to the west coast of the United States and have been too far removed from my culture. I am an Americanized Filipino American.
The problem with the elevator speech is that it places too much emphasis on your career as your identity. When people are unemployed, the situation may take its toll on their self-esteem or ego. Even I am not immune to this as my western go-go-go mentality makes me feel like I need to achieve in order to be somebody. I haven’t started my portfolio site yet? What a loser!
Own Your Career Break
So I don’t have a “real job”. So what? Being on idle time can benefit your life. Slowing down from the hectic pace of work, and living a simple, minimalistic lifestyle not only reduces stress, but allows your brain to figure out epiphanies on its own time. In other words, by taking a career break, I am setting myself up for future success and giving myself the time and resources to do it. Simply exploring, experiencing and seeking new opportunities in a foreign place will help me grow as an individual that will affect both my work life and personal life in a positive way. My non-actualized plan is to travel to other Asian countries during my year stay (or possibly more) in the Philippines, while lightly funding my trip through various freelance opportunities (as a writer, designer, photographer extraordinaire). I have no return ticket back to the States. Just my daydreamer, idealist self and my “fly by the seat of my own pants” mentality. Maybe that’s naive, but I’m not too worried about myself. I know it will all work out.
Who Am I?
This question always stumps me because I am far too complex than a job title. I am someone who strives to learn about myself through reflection and introspection. I am someone who despises the traditional American Dream, rejects status quo, and is on a journey to learn about other alternatives. I am someone who finds passion in art, life long learning, trying new things, and never giving up. I am someone who finds value in the Eastern way of thinking and the importance of slowing down; be it through meditation, relaxation, or career break. I am someone who finds compassion in helping others, and wants to change the world. I am someone with big dreams and passion and potential just waiting to be harnessed.
This year, I endeavor to make that happen, whatever “that” is.
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14 Responses to “So Tell Me About Yourself?”
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I loathe meeting people for the first time knowing the question “What do you do?” is coming. The implication that my identity and status amongst others they know lies in the wording of this answer is too much for me to handle. And when I was very very part time employed, like 3-4 hours/week, I really felt like I had to explain myself.
Now I have a job and can’t explain it to anyone because really only an advanced biologist or biophysicist would know what I’m talking about. And that’s the easy explanation.
I’d so much rather tell people that aside from being a scientist I am a writer, a photographer, and a musician, I love nature, have an addiction to orchids, and stray from the flock. I’m very energetic, love the outdoors, I love travel, and would like to live somewhere other than where I currently live to have a change in environment.
But I don’t. Because they asked me what I do.
.-= Justin (Oats)´s last blog ..Person of Wal-Mart =-.
Ugh, I know what you mean. I loathe the question too. Whether I have a job or not, I dislike it. But especially now, when I basically do only work about 5 hrs. a week, I feel really challenged with this question. I guess I just don’t feel my work epitomizes who I am. So it really irks me. I guess you can tell I’m not one for small talk either. I’d much rather get more in depth!
You and I have a lot in common. I despise the American Dream idea that more is better, and I hate the live-to-work ideal. I hate that people use credit to buy what they can’t afford. I hate our society’s puritan values that are shielded by a viel of blatant sexuality in pop culture. I hate that I have to wear a monkey suit to the job each day, because if I dressed more casually somehow my skills would be devalued. I hate the fakeness of suburbia, and that we are so vain that plastic surgery is pretty much a norm. I hate social norms that tell me how to act as a “woman.” I could go on, but I won’.
This is why my five-year plan involves moving to Central America….One day I will blog about my plans, eventually.
.-= Mara J.´s last blog ..Bad Cat =-.
Agh I get annoyed just thinking about it! And Central America sounds amazing. Good luck on your journey.
You’re more well traveled than I am! I’m just a n00b. 
I agree that people’s identities are often tied up / confused with what they do for a living. But at the same time, I don’t believe that people asking you that question are necessarily trying to pigeonhole you. It’s just a starting point.
Also, to me the American Dream is no longer about consumerism (more is better) and all that. That’s the previous generations’ American Dream. I think the new American Dream is about a happy, good life – inside and out. At least, that’s what I see the Americans around me dreaming about. It’s not the mansion and the sports car and the beach house anymore; it’s the job they’re passionate about, the the family/friends they love, and the sense of security & comfort.
That’s what I want, anyway.
.-= Kristan´s last blog ..The sun will come out tomorrow today =-.
This doesn’t bother me. Every culture has some version of small talk that leads into a deeper conversation, so I don’t believe that this is strictly a Western invention. In fact, I have found many westerners to be more direct in conversation, where you can actually move into non work-related conversations easier.
It seems like you hear so much about how “westerners” place too much emphasis on work and career, and we do in some ways. On the other hand, we are defined by what we spend the majority of our time on, and for most folks, that is work. If, for example, you are spending most of your time traveling, then that would be my answer to the question of “tell me about yourself.” This is not unique to the US or other Western cultures. If you are a fisherman in the Phillipines, people know you as a fisherman.
I think that it is easy to read too much into what you see when you start traveling, especially in the beginning. Being around an exotic culture, it is easy to label them “more simple, more happy, less materialistic.” You can be the change that you are looking for anywhere, and if the conversation you get from the question of “what do you do” seems shallow, I would consciously try to steer it into a more genuine direction.
.-= Martin´s last blog ..Salamander Orgies, Waterfalls, and Powerful Insight into the Womenfolk =-.
VERY intelligent answer and thank you!!
I was thinking about this and do agree.. and I notice I tend to wonder/want to ask immediately ‘what do you do?’ as well. As a basis for conversation, moving on to (hopefully) deeper conversation.
I love your comment: “You can be the change that you are looking for anywhere” and it reminds me that “wherever you go, there you are.” Yup, here I am.
For me, the very idea of being defined by your job is so… medieval. It harkens to a time when you were clergy or craftsman, landowner or laborer. You were born into a certain life, and that was where you stayed. These days we have the potential to make a “career” based on our own choosing, but I think it is still somewhat uncommon when people end up working with their passion. I think most of us end up with a “job”.
I completely understand why it is often a point of discussion when first getting to know somebody, but I personally don’t like the idea of being defined by my job. My job is just something I do for money. My hopes, dreams, and passions are far more than that.
.-= bard´s last blog ..Another Day =-.
I love this post! I never know what to say when people ask me to tell them about myself. It’s even worse when they ask about my job.My job is not a passion nor does it define me. I’m doing it bc i need it to survive at the moment.
I think what your doing is so wonderful for the soul. If I had the opportunity I’d do the same in a second. One day I will, I have to. This gal needs to explore for her soul!
.-= carissa´s last blog ..Commercial break: TV and relationships. What’s the Diff? =-.
Amen! I totally agree with your post. I really dreaded the what did you do question since I’m not in the field I want to be in. Who you are as a person is so much more important thant what you do. I admire you so much for taking a break and traveling back to the Phillipines. There is so much to learn in Eastern culture which I completely admire. Thoughtful post as always!
.-= Write Girl´s last blog ..Tag You’re It! =-.
You’re constantly re-defining your own identity which I find really nice. It’s so important to be perpetaully dynamic and be always on the move.
.-= Deeptesh´s last blog ..Snow dreams =-.
Aww thanks Deeptesh. That’s a great observation about me, and glad I can say it’s correct. It really shows the impermanent state of everything! Everyone is changing and shifting; and it’s a good thing!
Hi,
Just hooked up to your blog, and gotta say am always happy to find/read other travellers on the same path (of tryna find or rediscover yourself). Sort of in a similar boat, only I’m doing it backwards! Tryna settle into the sprawling expanse that’s Toronto. Great blog, and look forward to your posts that’ll make me miss home more
Thanks for stopping by! Ah, so you’re Filipina too? Good luck in Toronto. I’m having a great time unfolding my journey