Free Massage
The following story is my contribution to LiLu’s TMI Thursdays. This happened during my trip to India at the beginning of this month.
A gentle knock was heard on our hotel door. My two roomies who had been with me on my India journey were fixing eachother’s hair. Michael, a dynamic gay boy from North Carolina with idealist heart and big ideas, placed the hair straightener down and opened the door. It was the hotel manager, wondering when my flight was so he could arrange a taxicab pick-up three hours in advance.
“How are you?” Michael said, enthusiastically. He has a way with Indian men. Their eyes light up every time he speaks, like he was a famous Bollywood celebrity. “Come in!”
We could tell this was a different country when Michael chats it up with the hotel manager and he’s invited in to our room. Colloquial conversations were exchanged and Michael mentioned how he just wanted to find a place that could do a good massage.
“I do massage,” the hotel manager said. “For you good people, I can do it for free.”
Michael went first and the Indian man placed his fingers on his thighs and legs, pressing and squeezing up and down. It seemed like he only spent all of two minutes when he finished and went on to massage Sharon, a beautiful Laotian girl from California. This time, it seemed he took a bit more time, massaging up and down her thighs, the small of her back and waist, and her buttocks. Concentrating idly on her buttocks, he asked in a soft, husky voice “is this OK?”
Ten minutes later, it was my turn. By this time, I realized he favored Sharon over Michael, and her buttocks over anything else and was a bit hesitant. Was this guy really a masseuse in training or just a bit horny? As I lay down on the bed for my turn, he hovered over me and started to massage my legs. His long nails pinched against my skin as he grabbed my thighs. His breathing became heavier, huskier.
“Is this OK?” I tried to nod yes. But in actuality, I’ve had better massages.
He circled my buttocks again and again. His breathing still laborious. Was it the physical activity and exertion or something else? The situation was rather amusing as he continued to massage my butt, still breathing hard, as he grabbed each check in circular motions.
Michael, bless his heart, noticed what was going on and motioned that we were about to leave. “We kinda have to go now…” The hotel manager, realizing this was his cue that he had exhausted his welcome, slapped my waist and then slapped my butt for good measure. I had my free massage and he had his free grope sesh with foreigners.
Smiling from ear to ear, he thanked us for our time. Sharon mentioned her thanks for a great massage. “Anything for you beautiful women,” he replied.
As he walked out the door, the three of us looked at each other and started laughing. “What just happened?” Michael asked.
“I don’t know but this is going on my blog!” I replied.
“I figured it was fine as long as he didn’t start fingering me,” Sharon joked.
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29 Responses to “Free Massage”
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hahaha! “I’m a masseuse in training”. I’ll have to remember that one.
bard´s last blog ..Another Day
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 25th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
I know right!?
Haha, clever..
I doubt he was an actual masseuse.
[Reply]
[…] The Solitary Panda’s Free Massage […]
Twitter: kristanhoffman
says:
Lol wooooow, sketchy and ew! But at least it wasn’t a one-on-one session, so you weren’t in danger. Just in skeeve-land. Blech!
Kristan´s last blog ..Links & opportunities
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 12:00 am
GOOD POINT! would have been wayyy shadier if I was alone.. and not clothed.. haha. *phew* glad I had my roomies.
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I like how molestation is okay unless it goes into fingering.
It’s good that I have some guidelines now.
Travis´s last blog ..Guest Blog #2, BigSis From Speaking Of Witch!
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 12:48 am
haha! yes, now you’re going to try this aren’t you..
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Eeewww, that guy is too horny! I probably won’t even have him touch me at all. But then again, I’m not really into massages. I’m too ticklish, I start laughing the second the masseuse touch my body.
Chloe´s last blog ..If You’re a Mistress of a Man You Knew Is Married, Do You Deserve an Apology?
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
aww, that’s weird. I’m actually not thaaaaat into massages either! i thought i was the only one! for me i just don’t like having random people touch me and sometimes i think massage hurts.
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Twitter: fuchsiag
says:
Hahaha, too funny!!
Emily Jane´s last blog ..How Do You Define Success?
[Reply]
Oh my goodness, that is WEIRD.
Although wasn’t there an episode of “Will and Grace” where something similar happened? I’m sure Grace was told that she kept all her tension down there…
Paula´s last blog ..HOW TO APPEAR ON “MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN” …
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I don’t keep up with Will and Grace but that sounds hilarious if it is. Haha, kept all her tension down there.. love it!
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That dude is seriously creepy. I need to borrow that pick up line someday though
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
i totally do too! hahaha
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Floreta — I also offer free massages. Just an FYI.
I can’t believe I haven’t thought of this before…
Martin´s last blog ..A Tale of Crackheads, Yuppies and Tom Wolfe
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
haha, it IS a good one, isn’t it?
i probably wouldn’t mind a free massage from you :X haha
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Martin Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
…Then I was 100% serious that I give free massages.
[Reply]
Twitter: livitluvit
says:
You guys are sports. I would have cut him.
LiLu´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: Never Try to Fool a Gay Man
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
it was awkward and i didn’t know what to do!
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he was waiting for you to give him a happy ending
Clevelandpoet´s last blog ..TMI THURSDAY: When coughs attack
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
hahaha with jazz hands!
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Twitter: ninoart
says:
Not bad
I’m sure all of you enjoyed it to bits 
My Kafkaesque Life´s last blog ..Taste buds gone wild: Taiwanese food #1
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Twitter: AdventureRob
says:
That sounds pretty creepy, kudos for the bloke for getting away with it though, I suspect he’s taken a few slaps trying that previously. Need to remember that line…
AdventureRob´s last blog ..Hello Sydney
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Twitter: didim
says:
oh my god, fingering ? joking. nice article and enjoyed reading. well done nice blog here
didim´s last blog ..Three Google executives were convicted in Italy
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Write Girl Reply:
February 28th, 2010 at 7:10 am
That was quite funny. I guess strange things can happen while travelling overseas. You never know who you might meet but this story turned out to be perfect for you. I guess the “free massage” was a sign that it was going to be strange. Nicely written.
Write Girl´s last blog ..Comets (Acrostic)
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Twitter: chicindependent
says:
Oh my, that’s fantasstic
Yay, new bloggy friend!
[Reply]
Floreta
Twitter: solitarypanda
Reply:
March 1st, 2010 at 9:17 pm
haha, fantasstic indeed. pun intended, right?
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That’s FANTASTIC. And creepy.
Brittney´s last blog ..Yay, Free Stuff! {My First Ever GiveAway}
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Sharon’s sentence made me laugh. haha
But you guys really played it cool… 
Kikit´s last blog ..In Her Shoes
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